Forget for a moment that the laptop shouldn't be broken in the first place: it's really my fault for buying a bleeding edge first generation of a new processor product from Apple (the timing was right and I needed a laptop -- I've learned my lesson).
Last week I got an AppleCare tech on the phone who said I would have to ship them my laptop, but that they would send me the box to ship it in and that the whole thing would probably take 5-10 days.
I got the box on Saturday; I shipped it Monday morning; I had my laptop back by 8am Wednesday. Literally: I was without my laptop for less than 48 hours. That is just totally rocking and totally unexpected customer service.
Great job Apple!
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